Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Where's Part 2? The Waiting...

So, I am going to be honest and personal again.  Truly, I don't know where to begin.  I have been on an emotional roller coaster this summer and I'm still uncertain of what is going to happen.  As I shared in Part 1, we had a fire in our garage.  It's now been 6 months and I think we are getting the final inspections scheduled.

I want to talk today about waiting.  Are you waiting for something?  Has it come to pass?  Was your prayer answered in the way you asked?  Are you still waiting?

I have had to wait for a lot of things: getting accepted to college, passing the ACT exam (I took it 5 times!! another story for another time), getting my first job, getting my second job, waiting for a marriage partner, waiting for a child and then another (those are two more stories I linked to on my blog), waiting for a job, and now waiting again.

It seems that God wants to teach me some things.  This summer I felt compelled to do this devotion called Unblinded Faith  by Elisa Pulliam.  Faith.  What is it?  Do I have enough of it?  I once heard my pastor say something like this, "You don't need more faith, you need faith more often."  I have faith in God.  He saved me from my sins.  I live forgiven.  But everyday faith.  Do I have it often enough?  In Unblinded Faith Elisa unpacks many Scriptures that speak of who God is and what He does.  Everyday I read the passage of Scripture, the devotion, the prayer and I then I write.  I write down all the promises of God and commands of God from that Scripture.  God is faithful, He is true, He is trustworthy.  He says, DO NOT FEAR!!

I have a friend who posts a daily "no fear" verse on Facebook.  I fear because I'm confused about what God desires for me.  We stepped out in faith this summer and I feel like I've been standing on the edge of a cliff.  The wind might blow me over at some point, but God is keeping me from falling.  I don't feel steady or grounded.  But God has made it perfectly clear in His Word He is the only solid rock.  It's on Him I stand, not on my worries, fears or desires.  It's God.

Here are some quotes I've been pondering too:
*"What if the circumstances you're asking God to change are the very circumstances God is using to change you."  -Mark Batterson
*Let your FAITH be bigger than your fear.
*"what if"= fear
  "even if"= faith
*"No present obstacle is ever bigger than God's glory."  -Ruth Chou Simons
*Jesus, we give you our yes and trust You with the outcome.
*"The greater the gale forces in life, the greater the need for peace in Christ." -Julie Sanders

I also found this list of verses to bring calm for the anxious heart from More to Be:  40 Verses

And some verses that were in my prayer journal this summer:

And I've loved these songs:

In all of this I'm learning that true dependence on God is messy, but necessary.  My humanness is overwhelming to me when I see how big God is and how small I am.  Yes, I'm waiting for a prayer to be answered.  It may and it may not, but that doesn't change who God is or my purpose in life.  I will choose to trust in the unknown because I am KNOWN.  I wrestle and it's OK.  God is drawing me deeper to His heart in this journey. It's not about what I want, but His desire for my life.  We step forward in faith and we give each step to Him.

This summer I'm reading Brother Andrew to my kids.  He took leaps of faith and God was with Him each time.  I know God is here right now.  He has been preparing me for what is ahead even though I don't see it clearly at all.  He is there and He knows.

May what I share today help you in any season you have to wait.  Just wait.  Stop and be in God's presence.  Cry, rejoice, be still, on your knees, hands lifted, soul searching prayers, it's ALL in God's hands.  Give Him your everything.

If God chooses a different path, I will trust that is the right way for us.

And this podcast (The Next Right Thing) spoke to me about Looking for Arrows, Not Answers by Emily P. Freeman.  (In fact, this was on February 13, 2018- the date of our fire)

If you think of it, please pray for us to follow God's leading no matter what.  I promise I will share more when I can.  Until then...we wait.